


Stay with me tonight Hephaistion

by orphan_account



Category: Alexander (2004)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-27
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 20:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/347861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hephaistion considers his relationship with Alexander</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay with me tonight Hephaistion

‘Stay with me tonight Hephaistion’ Alexander had said softly.  
I had wanted to refuse him, wanted to remind him what staying would make me, I glanced over at Bagoes pointedly. By staying it would make me another of Alexander’s pretty boys, another eros. Didn’t Alexander see that? He had never understood it, never understood that by submitting to him I’d allowed myself to become something that most men grew out of. That’s what I’d thought when I and Alexander became lovers; it was something we’d grow out of. Many young men lie with other men when they are young and then as they grow up they move on to finding a young man of their own. That was fine.  
But it left no room for young men of equal status to grow up as lovers and stay lovers. I had always known that I would love Alexander for the rest of my life; that I would be his partner in all things but I had always assumed that the physical side of things would peter out as we got older. That the overpowering desire I felt for him, the desire to submit to him, to be totally overpowered and conquered by him would leave me as a grew up. It didn’t. True as we got older and life took over we had less time alone together so we did not lie together as often as we used to. But this only seemed to fuel my desire.   
The longer we were apart, the easier it seemed for him to seduce me. He never mentioned the fact that we were together less, maybe he too had expected it as we got older. But there were times when he would get this look in his eyes and I would know immediately how he wanted the evening to go. Because I could never resist him, my own physical desire was too strong but also the desire to make Alexander happy was too great, the desire to make sure he had everything he wanted.  
Alexander didn’t get it of course, for him lying with me didn’t require him to give anything up. Just meant that he has slightly older tastes then most men his age, he wasn’t submitting, he was proving his dominance as surely as if he was taking a woman or a boy.  
He took the pointed look at Bagos and completely mistook its meaning. He asked the boy to leave, clearly thinking my remonstration to be motivated by jealousy. I let the mistake go, because, after all, there was something in that too.  
Bagos left without a word of complaint but I thought that I detected disappointment in the poor boys eyes and knew that he too had fallen for Alexander’s many charms. But I didn’t waste any sympathy on him.  
Alexander watched Bagos leave and then turned back to me with a slight smile, as if to say, there, happy now? We were alone, I knew what he wanted and I could already feel my desire for him start to rise. I bit back my annoyance at him though, I knew that it would distress him, he never could handle me angry at him in any way.   
We went outside onto to the balcony and I questioned him as to his plans, about what the Generals were saying. I guess I was trying to turn is mind to the more serious, perhaps I was trying to make him angry at me, so he would wish me to go. But it was a mistake. For it made his eyes sparkle with passion and surety in his belief, in the desire to make all people better than they were, to set them all free, it made me catch my breath.  
I remembered in a second why he was so impossible to resist. I loved him too much, loved him for believing so strongly in his dreams. I felt my love for him swell up and I knew that I was lost, I could not resist him, not now, not ever. So I told the truth, told him that he was all that had ever mattered, and I held him close, told him that I was terrified of losing him I was lost, lost in the moment entirely. My thoughts of what being taken by him made me were forgotten and I clung to him, desperate to have him make me his.   
I was always so angry with him for seducing me, for making me give in but that anger was unjust, because he did it completely unconsciously, he seduced me with his desperate desire to achieve his dreams. I could have stood a chance at staving off deliberate attempts at seduction but it was his very soul that seduced me.  
He lifted his head off my shoulder and smiled, looking for a moment no older than the day he had fist kissed me, and the leaned forward and brought our lips together, gently at first, so gently I couldn’t help but moan softly and clutch at his shoulders tighter. I felt him smile against my lips and then he crushed me to him, thrusting his tongue into my willing mouth. I dug my fingers into his shoulders and kissed back with equal fever. Oh I was lost. How could I have forgotten how alive he made me feel? What did it matter what being with him made me in the eyes of the world? What did it matter when it made me feel so alive?  
‘Come to bed,’ he whispered, pulling back only a fraction from me, out lips still touching. I felt the words against my lips and a shiver ran up and down my spine. I nodded.  
He pulled me back into the room, and kissed me again, pushing the robe off my shoulders and I wondered if perhaps I had not planned to give into this, my attire was designed for seduction, and hadn’t I been the one to touch him first, lying to myself that all I’d wanted was to comfort him. Why did I have to go through such intricate means of self-deception to allow us to be together?  
I pulled at his clothes as he walked me towards the bed. He laughed with joy and gently pushed me so I fell on the bed. I gazed up at Alexander, my heart pounding with anticipation as he removed his clothes. I wondered if he had any idea what went through my head each time I went to bed with him. Wondered if he knew that time and again he conquered me despite the fact that I’d sworn it had been the last time.   
He crawled over me and grinned down at me. Sometimes he looked exactly like that boy he’d been years ago.


End file.
